Strawberry Fields

For Valentine's Day, the kids got strawberry plants. We thought it would be healthier and longer lasting than giant boxes of candy. We have actually managed to keep them alive. Each kid has been able to pick a strawberry from their plant already, and they have more growing.

Deep Thoughts by Taggart

A little girl...

Once there was a little girl who kept her mom very busy (and tired)...



This is what she did while her mom washed the dishes...

She loves to get into the herb stock. Just when I think I have it Nellie-proofed, she outsmarts me. On this day, she discovered her love for activated charcoal capsules.

This is what she does while her mom plans a sharing time lesson...

Salt. All. Over. Do you know how hard salt is to clean up? And just when you think you've got it all, you walk into the kitchen with your bare feet and realize it is still EVERYWHERE!

This is what she does while her mom feeds her little brother...

So pretty. Lipstick all over her face, and her white shirt, and the bathroom floor. Oh this was the same day as the salt incident.

This is what she does while her mom is doing who knows what (probably sitting around eating bon bons)...

The herb cabinet again. She loves her herbs. This time she combined the charcoal with some salve. Salve is harder to clean than lipstick.

I promise I watch my children. I always THINK I have everything Nellie proofed, and I THINK she is busy and being entertained by something good, and she continues to prove me wrong. Some days she keeps me busier than all 3 boys combined. But we wouldn't trade her for a boy or even a more mild girl. Life will never be dull with her around. And how could you be mad at that face?

For today...

Outside my window... wind... yuck.

I am thinking... about finding joy in the journey, specifically THIS talk. I love these lines, but they haunt me as well:

"My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today.
I’ve shared with you previously an example of this philosophy. I believe it bears repeating. Many years ago, Arthur Gordon wrote in a national magazine, and I quote:
“When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say [into the phone], ‘No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait.’
“When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. ‘The circus keeps coming back, you know,’ [she said.]
“‘I know,’ said Father. ‘But childhood doesn’t.’”2

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

And this line from Elder Neal A. Maxwell has been ringing in my head, "You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms. "

I don't worry that today is passing me by, but I do sometimes worry that the piles of laundry will suffocate me as my children run around me naked. I worry that I'm not doing enough for my other children, and I have to remind myself that they once got this much attention from me too.
I want to find joy in the journey. I want to savor childhood. But most days I'm tired and distracted and feel tossed around by life. I want to be proactive in my life- I think that would better facilitate the joy. But at the end of each day I end up feeling like it just exploded on me. I feel guilt for the things that I didn't do with my children or for my children. I worry that all we do is hang around the house. I feel guilt and I feel worry, and I hate that. I know it is Satan, and I know it keeps me from doing good things. There are worse things than hanging around the house all day. My children are happy and well, but most days I worry if they are happy and well enough. I must stop worrying. Hmph.

I am thankful for... healthy kids. I am reminded every day how great it is to have healthy children.

From the kitchen... 2 failed loaves of bread. I don't know what I did wrong with them. They taste okay, but they sure are ugly.

I am reading... Conference talks. Trying to get them all read before next conference.

I am hoping... to feel organized and present this week (same as always). I am also hoping to get some more exciting posts up. I have some cute pictures, but I keep getting frustrated with blogger.

I am creating... some herbal formulas. I really need to get them finalized and begin making them.

I am hearing... Dustin quieting the baby (such a good husband).

To do today… the day is done now it is time for sleep.

One of my favorite things... lemon essential oil. I think I need to be using this more.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Grocery shopping, hopefully a play date with old friends.

I must remember… How much I LOVE hearing my children compliment each other. They do it so freely. I need to learn from them. I must remember how much they have loved discovering the roly polies in the yard and how Abe wants to study about them and Riggy wants to give them baths.

***Journaling prompt ideas from The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today...

Outside my window... Cloudy skies. The kind that don’t bring any rain, just make me tired and sluggish all day. I am thinking... just trying to organize my thoughts for the week. The weekend brought lots of thoughts to muse over.



I am thankful for... Dustin who gets up with the baby in the morning after he has been fed so that I can get an hour more of sleep.



From the kitchen... breakfast dishes everywhere. Monday morning kitchens always seem frustrating to me. Hopefully there will be some homemade wheat bread baking this afternoon… hopefully.



I am reading... Finding Peace Joy and Happiness by Richard G. Scott. It is going slowly because I’m trying to absorb it all. I really like it so far. Dustin had probably heard me say, "In that book I'm reading..." about 50 times.



I am hoping... to feel organized and present today.



I am creating... this blog post.



I am hearing... the kids making pretend chocolate cake. Who knew baking could be soooo noisy!



To do today… clean up kitchen, start laundry, overall straightening of the house, bake some bread, exercise, and I really need to get the kids outside for some fun. Oh, and water the strawberry plants- can’t forget.



One of my favorite things... today it is good music. The kind that you can’t help but learn the words and sing and dance along.A few plans for the rest of the week... I need to get myself organized today before I can make plans.



I must remember… How good of a day Saturday was. A good day just hanging out as a family. I love when nothing MUST get done.



***Journaling prompt ideas from The Simple Woman's Daybook

As promised...Taggart's Birth

Taggart at 5 weeks old

It has taken me a long time to post Taggart's birth for many reasons. The most obvious being that I have a newborn that likes to be held. I have had a hard time putting his story into words. How do you encompass in written words the perfect day? The day, the event, the moment was perfect- a dream come true. Evidence once again that when I let go of MY plans, MY attachments, and MY expectations and just let go and JUST BE and trust in HIS plan and HIS way that life turns out way more beautiful than I could have imagined. It was also evidence that faith and fear cannot coexist. So here is a brief summary (in more detail than I'm sure some would like, but I promise I edited it some) of our first homebirth. Hopefully the first of many.

Tuesday morning Dustin woke up and announced that he wasn't going to work that day. This was unexpected because he had been working as much as possible so that he could stay home AFTER the baby was born. I started to say, "Are you sure? I think you should go." When my mouth was closed, and I felt the prompting, "You all need this day. He should stay." I wasn't going to argue with that. We enjoyed a relaxing morning together as a family. At noon I went to my midwife appointment (at this point I was 10 days past my "due date"). I was at a 4 when I left the appointment, but I didn't think much of it. We took the kids to the park and then to Sam's Club (so fun). I had a couple of contractions at Sam's Club but not enough to get excited about. We got home around 3pm. The kids went outside to play (it was such a pretty day), and Dustin and I straightened up the house just in case. I had just finished the last of tidying up and sat down to drink some water when I had a contraction. It was 4pm.

It was short and mild. About 30 seconds later I had another one, still short and mild. The little contractions continued every 30 seconds for about 15 minutes. Dustin convinced me to call the midwife just to let her know. I called April and she said it just sounded like early labor. I was talking to her easily through the contractions, she couldn't even tell by my voice that I was having any. She said she had a 4:30 appointment and then she would send Kim (her apprentice) over to check on me.

By about 4:30 the contractions were strong enough and long enough that I made Dustin stop what he was doing and just stay with me so I could lean on him and hold his hands. But I had some good music on, and Dustin was there so I was doing okay. At about 4:45 I decided I was ready to seclude myself to the master bathroom. The contractions were pretty intense by then. I started to run a hot bath. While I waited I tried to keep my bladder empty so I labored on the toilet for a bit. I told Dustin that he needed to call April and let her know things were progressing fast (though I still thought I had a few hours). She said that she would send Kim right away. As soon as he got off the phone with April I had a really intense contraction. I remember squeezing Dustin's hands and telling him that I didn't know how many more of those I could do. As soon as I said that, I felt a quiet prompting, "You're at the end. You don't have to do much more." I looked up at Dustin and said, "We're doing this on our own. No one is going to get here in time." I saw shock for a brief moment in his eyes, and I'm sure he saw it in mine, but then there was nothing but peace and excitement.

I realized that the baby was crowning, and that he would be here in moments. I quickly climbed into the tub, mostly because I wanted to contain any mess. Two easy pushes and there he was. Dustin handed him right to me. It was amazing how instinct and intuition took over, and we knew just what to do. I just sat there in the tub, holding him, in awe. I loved that it was just us. Just the 3 (and lots of angels I'm sure) working together. It was beautiful and wonderful. Dustin called April and told her the baby was here. She told us later that she thought he was kidding until she heard the baby in the background. I believe it was about 5:07pm when he called her. I sat in the tub and nursed the baby until Kim arrived about 15 minutes later. April arrived a bit after that.

We brought the other kids up (the boys had been by themselves watching TV and Nellie was sleeping until my mom got home right after the birth), and they helped to weigh and measure Taggart. He weighed 9lbs 7oz. and was 21 1/2 inches. He looks exactly like Rigdon did as a baby.

I loved having a homebirth. Many people asked as if we were freaked out or scared. No. Faith and fear cannot coexist, and we had spent much time praying and pondering about this birth. We knew that it was okay for us to have this baby at home so we knew that all would be well. I have never felt so strongly my divinity as a woman, wife, and mother as I did when Taggart was born. That's my hope for every woman and every birth- that they feel that divinity. That they feel the power and pure joy of being a woman. Sometimes it is hard to remember that when there's laundry and crying, but being a mother is a great role.

Taggart 1 day old

Winter Wonderland

Abe's wishes came true, and we actually got some snow. He really didn't think that it could be Christmas time without snow. In his prayer tonight he thanked Heavenly Father for the snow because "it made all the kids happy." Nellie actually enjoyed it too, and she was mad that we didn't let her get down and play in it. Riggy stayed warm inside. He had already played in the snow earlier in the day with his cousins.

A neigbhor's tree branch gave way under the weight of the snow and fell in the backyard.